one time in 7th grade i was having unbearable intestinal pain like i could not move at all it hurt so bad so i went to the nurse and she sent me home and the second i got home i farted for legitimately 45 seconds and all of the pain disappeared
A deeply touching story
(via jigglypuffsvevo)
(via nitrogen)
“The best advice I’ve ever received: ‘no one else knows what they are doing either.’”— Charles Bukowski
me: ugh if they’re asking me to come in I’m not gonna do it
*phone call from work*
manager: hey can you come in today
me: yeah, sure I’ll be there in a bit
(via civilwhore)
Don’t trust morning you. Morning you is a dick. Morning you would sell your loved ones if it got them 5 minutes of extra sleep
maybe morning me wouldn’t be such a dick if that flaky bitch evening me had gone to bed instead of tumblring til butts oclock int he morning
Well evening me might have fallen asleep at a reasonable hour if that dumbass afternoon me hadn’t lain down for a “little nap” that lasted four hours.
(via civilwhore)
i just wanna have soft glowy skin, long eyelashes, pink lips, rosy cheeks, lots of cash and no responsibilities
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
